She wants to "spend quality time" with me this weekend.

That's SO going to happen. YaoMingTrollFace.jpg.

For me, Steve's legacy goes way beyond the Apple products I use everyday--the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad and the Mac. It's the well-placed kick to the face lines from his 2005 Stanford commencement address gave me when I was right smack in the middle of an existential crisis around this time, I remember my anxiety and panic disorders being at their peak):

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: ‘If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.’ It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

 

Thank you, Steve.

The recent developments in the tech sector made me realize, more than ever, that I am indeed living in the future.

Dude, we're talking about freaking being able to download enormous amounts of data to hand-held computers over over the air. We're talking about taking a picture or video of the most trifling everyday shit with our freaking mobile phones and sending it to recipients halfway around the world in mere seconds.

Living in the future is fucking great. It is, however, very sad that the future belongs to the whiniest, most self-entitled generation in the history of ever. 

I mean we're all guilty of this. My wife throws a hissy fit whenever her "macphone" takes over 3 seconds to download and display a picture of Kim Kardashian on its screen while I, on the other hand, make a big stink about how my phone, which I interact with using freaking touch gestures by the way, can't get a 3G signal when I'm at basement parking lots. I hear kids no older than 13 throw tantrums about how Facebook "sucks" when it goes down for longer than 30 minutes.

We seriously need to get over ourselves here. 

Yesterday, Apple launched the iPhone 4s which people found to be "underwhelming." Seriously people?

Does it not give you 1GB of RAM which, by the way is twice as much as its predecessor's? Does it not allow you to record videos in 1080p and take pictures with a max apperture of f/2.4? 1080p video, by the way, is crisper than anything your shitty eyes would allow you to see. Does it not have a dual core processor which makes it as fast or even faster than any smartphone out there? Does it not allow you to issue contextual commands to it using your voice? Does it not talk to you?

And all of this is underwhelming to you? The world owes you something better than the most bleeding edge piece of telecommunications hardware ever created?

Shit. To put things into perspective, do you even know what is involved in just seeing a picture someone took halfway around the world involved back in the day? Well, it involved that person travelling in a galleon for 50 years to show you his fucking picture. Also, he might die from scurvy or rickets along the way so there's a chance you'd never actually see the fucking picture.

You seriously need to get over yourselves. I would go on with this but I don't see the need to since better men have expressed what I'm trying to say more eloquently than I could. Take it away, Louis C.K.

 

 

 

When your father in-law casually gives you Korean Ginseng tea and tells you to drink it regularly because it's an aphrodisiac.

Giving the purple vape thinger to my mom in hopes that it will help her kick the habit like it helped me. Remember kids: "yosi kadiri!" and "tinamaan ng kanyon? Magpa-BP ka ngayon. "

Taken with picplz.

If you know the artist who made these is, please, send him my way so he could claim the blow job I want to extend to him as payment for the happies he just gave me.